Current Method: Marquette
Previous Method: Couple to Couple League
Previous Method: Creighton Model
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- Tell us a little about yourself.I am a Cajun girl married to a Wisconsin boy, living in Virginia with our two toddlers. When I chose to stay home after our first was born, I had an itch that needed scratching and so began my Total W(h)ine blog. Through my work there, I found my passion speaking honestly about fertility awareness and NFP, and co-founded FAbM Base with my friend and colleague Mary Bruno. I have a love/ hate relationship with NFP, and don't shy away from speaking about the parts of the lifestyle that are particularly difficult (looking at you, abstinence!). I would describe myself as a sanguine choleric - I like to take charge but only insofar as everyone is having fun. Outside of writing and talking about sex, my idea of a good time involves good food, good friends and good booze, the more the merrier. I am passionately Catholic, and believe that faith is best shared straight up, with equal parts joy and honesty.
- What effects has fertility awareness had on your relationship?NFP was extremely taxing on my marriage at first, due in no small part to the fact that we had been ill-prepared for the reality of the practice. We had expected minimal abstinence, and a magic-spell-like effect on communication. What we discovered was, sex and family planning, like all aspects of marriage, require sometimes gruelling communication. The benefits of the this lifestyle are not intrinsic, they are intentionally earned, and it can take longer for some than others to get to that point. We share our fertility because even though we chart my fertile signs, my husband is always fertile. The decision to avoid or achieve a pregnancy is one that we make - and bear - together.
- Current Method: Marquette - How did you find your instructor?I was referred through a friend. She charged $100 flat for initial instruction and unlimited follow ups. I began when I was postpartum, so I followed up frequently at first, and less and less over time.
- Describe your daily charting routine.I begin testing using the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor on Day 9 of my cycle. I simply test my urine first thing in the morning, and that's it. I also like observing my mucus patterns as a cross check, though I only use the monitor to determine my fertile window for family planning purposes.
- What made you choose this method?I needed the simplicity of Marquette after I had tried (and failed) with two other fertility awareness methods. Several friends had turned to it for the extremely tricky postpartum period, and I followed suit. I love the simplicity and objectivity of the method, and it's adaptability through different reproductive periods. The worst part was forking over another chunk of change in start up costs.
- Has charting helped you to understand your overall health?I recently discovered and have been treating a low functioning thyroid. I noticed brown bleeding that lasted up to CD 14, dramatic hair loss beyond my postpartum period, and some abnormal mood swings. I reached out to my instructor with my symptoms who suggested getting my thyroid levels checked. I currently see an integrative medicine doctor for holistic treatments.
- Did you switch to this method from another one? If so, why?I had previously used both Creighton and Sympto-thermal (CCL) prior to switching to Marquette. We had surprise pregnancies after using both those methods which resulted in two C sections, so my need for some simplicity and surety was astronomical.
- Previous Method: Couple to Couple League - How did you find your instructor?My husband and I learned CCL through our marriage prep program in the Arlington diocese of Virginia. It was required prior to our getting married. We attended three 3 hour sessions with an instructor couple to learn how to chart.
- Describe your daily charting routine.When I used STM, I took my temperature every morning at the same time. It worked out well when I had a regular schedule. I also made mucus observations, and would occasionally check my cervix position to confirm my fertile window.
- What made you choose this method?At the time, this was the only option I knew to be available. I liked having multiple biomarkers to track, but the rigidity of temping at the same time everyday, even when I wanted to sleep in on weekends, or was sick, or had a variance in my schedule, led me to realize that this was not a method I was going to use forever.
- Has charting helped you to understand your overall health?I was not aware at the time of all the health benefits of charting.
- Did you stop using this method? If so, why?I became pregnant when we were TTA. We knowingly bent a rule, and then I ovulated early. I decided not to resume using this method when I was postpartum, since I knew temping with a newborn was not practical by any means. We switched to Creighton after the birth of our daughter, which I will detail in the following section.
- Previous Method: Creighton Model - How did you find your instructor?I was referred by a friend. Initial costs were around $150 for instruction and materials, with each follow up session costing $50. We also had to pay $4-5 for additional charts and stickers. Since I was postpartum, follow ups took place every 6 weeks.
- Describe your daily charting routine.I charted for 8 months postpartum. The mucus observations were extremely strict, which was a bit overwhelming for me. I had to make observations every time I went to the bathroom, both before and after urinating and having a BM, and then had to bear down when I used the bathroom before going to bed to get a final observation. Emotionally and mentally, it was all too much for me. At each follow up, we learned that we had had sex on a day that was potentially fertile, or avoided sex on a day that was fine. This all had an extremely detrimental effect on my mental and emotional health, and therefore my marriage.
- What made you choose this method?We ironically chose this method because I thought charting only one symptom would be the simplest option for postpartum. What I did not know was that mucus can be the most complicated biomarker to track for the postpartum period for some women, particularly those who breastfeed. I was not informed that breastfeeding changes how and when mucus should be observed, ie breastfeeding releases oxytocin and therefore produces fertile-type mucus, though that would not be an accurate observation. Frankly, there was very little I liked about the method at the time. It required a level of intensity that was extremely detrimental as I navigated intense pressures to avoid a pregnancy for medical reasons, dealt with postpartum hormones, and all that goes into having a newborn.
- Did you switch to this method from another one? If so, why?We switched to Marquette after the birth of our second child, a method fail.
- Did you stop using this method? If so, why?I found myself pregnant again. It turned out that we had sex on the precise day of my return of fertility, and my lack of confidence in my observations had led to my inability to identify it as such.
